This Self Evident Truth
By: Lexi Locket
I have always been black.
Growing up in Wisconsin I didn’t know I was different
until somebody told me, then immediately
followed it up with, but you’re not really black since you’re mixed.
Growing up in Wisconsin I didn’t know I was different.
I was told I was pretty for a black girl and they
followed it up with, but you’re not really black since you’re mixed
and I was unsure why their compliments felt more like consolation.
I was told I was pretty for a black girl and they
were surprised when I didn’t applaud their generosity
and I was unsure why. Their compliments felt more like consolation
for daring to be seen at all. I demanded more and they
were surprised when I didn’t applaud their generosity.
They reminded me Look how far we’ve come. Reprimanded me
for daring to be seen at all. I demanded more and they
were quick to claim colorblindness, all lives matter,
they reminded me Look how far we’ve come. Reprimanded me
for seeking safety to walk, breathe, or sleep. All
were quick to claim colorblindness. All lives matter
was the chorus that met my ears. Calling me daring simply
for seeking safety to walk, breathe, or sleep. All
I wanted was to move quietly through the streets, not where a mother’s wailing
was the chorus that met my ears. Calling me daring simply
to believe all lives matter could include black lives like me. What
I wanted was to move quietly through the streets, not where a mother’s wailing
was using up the remainder of her child’s breath. It seems impossible to believe
all lives matter could include black lives like me. What evidence do I have to
support that, when people see a mother
was using up the remainder of her child’s breath. It seems impossible
that we have always been able to rise above and endure despite the
evidence. Do I have to support that? When people see a mother whose
childs’ name is trending and try to explain it away and remind us
that we have always been able to rise above and endure despite the
color-coded obstacles that have been built in our way. Do you know
whose childs’ name is trending? And try to explain it away and remind us
that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Forget about the
color-coded obstacles that have been built in our way. Do you know
we only want the parts of you that can be packaged and consumed?
That imitation is the highest form of flattery? Forget about the relief
when grace lets the police car pass by,
we only want the parts of you that can be packaged and consumed.
But I refuse to believe I should be grateful for
relief when grace lets the police car pass by,
as if that was the freedom my ancestors were striving for.
But I refuse to believe I should be grateful. For
I can see a world where I am allowed to be me
as if that was the freedom my ancestors were striving for,
no need to qualify or quantify the roots of my identity.
I can see a world where I am allowed to be me
and in it I am able to be everything.
No need to qualify or quantify the roots of my identity.
There is a world we can reach where there is always enough air for everyone
and in it I am able to be everything.
Each time I envision it, it shakes and shifts at the the idea there is a world
we can reach where there is always enough air for everyone. I have to
believe in this better life, and in it
each time I envision it, it shakes and shifts at the the idea of
all the different me’s I could be with so much possibility. I
have to believe in this better life, and in it
I have always been black.