American Made

By: Khalisa Rae

“I’m an American. I’m not African-American —...I don’t know what country in Africa I’m from, but I do know that my roots are in Louisiana. I’m an American. And that’s a colorless person.”- Raven Simone

You undress your skin so easily

as if this ethnicity was a hoodie

on a hot day and you thought

it best to take off

before

recognized

or assumed

When the weight

of your identity

becomes a burden,

you refuse to carry it on this journey

as a brown woman.

But, who are we kidding? We were both the Creole

girl that everyone in school asked,

Whatchu mixed with?

We were both on the playground when Billy Sanford

pulled our hair and said we talk “white”,

both the only black girl

on the cheerleading team, both weren’t invited

to the team sleepover,

and we both got a rude awakening

when our teacher changed our A paper to an F.

But we stay trying to remove all this dead weight

and tulle, all these centuries of Guinean beading,

Capetown stitch-work like they don’t know

where we were made.

We stay climbing inside someone else’s silhouette,

trying to oublier, unzip this

Monte Claire passing skin.

But I will always be

the black ball gown in a room full

of white wedding dresses and we I reminded every day.

When you fall against the taffeta background

somehow equality turns into invisibility the longer you exist

in a backdrop of muted hues

and random fabrics.

Saying: I don’t see color means, I don’t see you.

You have made sameness another word for silent erasure.

And I do not want you

silent, girl.

Not when there is still so much so say.


Khalisa Rae (she/her) is an activist, poet, and educator in Durham, North Carolina, and a graduate of the Queens University MFA program. Her recent work has been seen in Damaged Goods Terse, Crab Fat, Glass Poetry, Brave Voices, Hellebore, Honey & Lime, Tishman Review, the Obsidian, Anchor Magazine, New Shoots Anthology, Red Press, Roses Lit, among others. She is Managing Equity and Inclusion Editor at Carve Magazine. Her forthcoming full-length collection is debuting from Red Hen Press Spring 2021 and White Stag 2021